Speaker Slam: Speaking Competition
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Journey to the Stage: Sarah Keast

9/6/2019

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Having someone close to you die is completely life changing.  I feel like a walking cliche even just typing those words.  But cliches do exist for a reason….they are pretty true.  In 2016, my husband died of an accidental heroin overdose at home and needless to say, my life exploded into a million pieces that day. I’ve spent the last two and half years picking up those pieces and trying to put them back together again.  But that puzzle is proving way too hard to do.  I feel like I’m doing one of those puzzles that has 1000 pieces and no picture on the box.  It turns out the pieces of my old life don’t fit together anymore.  I’m slowly and painstakingly putting this puzzle together and an entirely new picture is emerging. Putting this new puzzle together has lead me to experiences and people I would never have dreamed of 2.5 years ago.  As I found my life shifting and changing around me, I made a conscious decision to say yes to new and potentially uncomfortable opportunities that came my way.  I delivered a TEDx talk in October 2018 on how we can save lives in the face of the devastating opioid crisis.  After that talk, I got connected with Dan and Rina, the founders of Speaker Slam and they expressed interest in having me compete on their stage.  Old me instantly thought ‘nope, I can’t do that.  I’m not a *real* speaker.  Thanks, but no thanks’.  But then post death, new me thought ‘let’s do this thing that scares you.  Let’s do this thing that the universe has put in your path for you to grab onto’.  I had survived the 2.5 years since my husband’s death by being open, honest and vulnerable about his death.  This vulnerability had lead me to so many new and wonderful connections.  Speaker Slam was another one of these things that had shown up for me and i couldn’t ignore it’s call, regardless of how scary, new and different it was.

Preparing for and writing my talk was unexpectedly hard.  The topic I was competing on was “Overcoming Adversity” and when I sat down and thought about it, I had no clue how I had ‘overcome’ the nightmare of losing my husband when I was 41, with two young kids at home.  Sobbing hysterically on Father’s day or yelling at my kids in complete and utter exhaustion as a solo mom does not sound like ‘overcoming adversity’! Some days I feel like I’m barely hanging on let alone overcoming anything.  Truth is, you never get over or move on from grief.  You learn to incorporate it into your life.  You make space for it.  But overcome it?  No way.  That’s truthful but probably not very inspiring.  I had to sit and think long and hard about my journey through grief.  How had I moved from the shock, sorrow and numbness of the early days to today?  I’m not only surviving, but some days I’m actually thriving.  I still sob but I also laugh, smile and dance.  The process of writing my speech, condensing it into 6 minutes and practicing endlessly was like a giant grief counselling session.  By the time the competition rolled around, I was wrung out from digging deep into my emotional vault.  I was energized and motivated to share my story, but I was also emotionally spent.  

So I did what I am so good at when grieving….I shopped till I dropped.  Grief shopping is totally a thing.  I fixated on ‘what would I wear?!’  The outfit had to be ‘stage worthy’! But also, comfortable, forgiving to my grief weight (grief eating is also totally a thing!), good at camouflaging nervous, sweat stains as well as able to hold a mic pack.  It was a tall order.  But I persevered and found the perfect outfit.  I also fully acknowledge that my obsession with my outfit was a mis directed channel for my growing anxiety regarding taking the stage.  But hey, knowing is half the battle right?

I spent the week leading up to the event practicing as much as possible.  My cat got SO tired of hearing my speech.  I also made exercise, sleep and meditating a priority in the lead up.  My physical and mental state were paramount in delivering an authentic, poignant talk.  When the actual day arrived, I woke up excited to do this!  The mantra I had created for myself rang out strong and clear in my head.  “You are made to do this.  Kevin (my late husband) is with you.”  I went to a yoga class, got my hair did and felt rested, ready and able.  It was go time.  And before I knew it, it really was.  The mic pack was being attached to my skirt and all of a sudden I was walking towards Rina and Dan standing off to the side of the stage.  Hugs from them and then I was on stage, blinded by brilliant lights but also emboldened to deliver my message.  The practiced words came to me easily (for the most part!) and my story tumbled out of me.  6 minutes was gone in an instant, and then there was applause as well as adrenaline rushing through my body.  I had done it.
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I connected with my friends at our table (and downed a glass of wine!) and sat back to enjoy the rest of the talks.  A women sitting near us came over to talk to me.  With tears in her eyes, she said “thank you for sharing your story”.  She had a recently lost a friend to an overdose and my story reminded her she wasn’t alone.  Through my words, she could see her pain wasn’t hers alone, and she didn’t have to suffer in silence.  The stigma that surrounds substance use disorder and overdose is immense and suffocating.  By taking the stage at Speaker Slam, I am telling the world that we will not be suffocated by stigma and shame anymore.  By sharing our stories we can cultivate compassion and empathy instead of shame and stigma.  By sharing our stories, we can heal.  The hug this woman and I shared reminded me this.  Her reaction is why I share.  Her story is why I share my story.  

I did not win Speaker Slam.  I came 6th.  If I’m totally honest, I was very disappointed in my results.  My confidence was shaken.  I was embarrassed.  Maybe I’m not meant to do this, my inner critic told me.  But then the conversation I had with the woman whose eyes were filled with tears came back to me.  She is why I do this.  My words, while not prize winning, helped her.  My story put a tiny ray of light into the darkness that she is experiencing.  My story IS helping people.  My story IS chipping away at the stigma that surrounds substance use disorder.  I will continue to tell my story until we respond to those struggling with addiction and mental health with empathy and compassion, instead of shame and stigma.  I will continue to tell my story as it helps me heal and it helps others find light in the darkness.  That is more important than any prize money.  

- Sarah Keast

​Journey to The Stage...

This is a series chronicling the journey of our speakers from the moment they sign up to compete and what it takes to get there. What was their experience once they took the stage and afterwards? We find out!

Want more Speaker Slam? 
Subscribe to our Youtube Channel: www.youtube.com/SpeakerSlam

Sarah Keast

Sarah Keast is a writer, a public speaker and an activist.  Through her writing, her blog and her recent TEDx talk, she explores love and loss, mental health and substance use disorder, shame and stigma, and the power of empathy, compassion and connection all with a healthy dose of the f-bomb and humour.  Her writing has been published in Chatelaine, Today’s Parent and The New Family.  She is a widow, a mother and a wannabe Wonder Woman.  She also believes in the powerful magic of a good yoga class, Netflix binging, vanilla lattes, laughing with friends and laughing at yourself.​

Blog: https://adventuresinwidowedparenting.wordpress.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adventuresinwidowedparenting/

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Journey to the Stage: Victoria Lorient-Faibish

9/6/2019

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"Are you kidding me?! You want me to what !?" I said in an exasperated way to my inner self. "You want me to tell my story on a stage in front of everyone !?" "Yes!" My inner voice said. 

I refused to even consider it for the longest time. 


In my former life, over 20 years ago, I was an actor/singer and I had no problem teaching, facilitating even performing and singing in front of unlimited amounts of people. BUT telling my story in all its vulnerable messiness was very different from a technique I was teaching or part I was playing, or even a song I was belting. This was going to be sharing my vulnerable no BS truth... LIVE - ON STAGE-IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! 

Speaking my vulnerable truth; revealing my guts in front of strangers seemed inconceivable to me just a short year ago.  In fact, my journey to speaking on the Speaker Slam stage took me many years to finally convince my outer self of what my inner self was tugging at for soooo long. 

For years I have been on a profound personal quest to create a deeper connection with others and with myself.  What I discovered was that the only way I was going to achieve that, was with my own skin in the game.  That is, my own willingness to let others in deeply and vice versa. Oh but this scared me to my core. 

As a veteran psychotherapist for over 20 years, I had my presentation down pat as a super together wise soul, that encourages OTHERS to be authentic.  But over the years I was starting to evolve more into a kind of therapist that skillfully picks and chooses some personal material to reveal to the client. 

But never ever too much or too deep so that I can always maintain impeccable professionalism.  

Also I came from a family-culture that deeply promoted the idea that one never airs their dirty laundry out in public... But my own therapy process showed me that my inner demons and my quest to overcome them, could only be truly transformative for me and  for others, if I shared my stories widely and furthermore, I needed to share them in a very personal way. 

I had written a book called Find Your Self-Culture in which I teach others to search, find and live life from their true authentic self as a key way to overcome depression and anxiety.  I speak about how this is quite conceivably THE most important quest one can go on. And while I did walk that talk in my marriage and with a hand full of chosen close people, letting others, I mean strangers  into to my deep self, my pain, my journey was just not in the cards.... so I thought.   

And then the deep inner voice started to nudge at me HARD... I mean harder than hard.... "Show people who YOU really are... it will help you AND them." It started to whisper. Then it would get louder and louder.... the more it did, the more I protested vehemently. I begged and I pleaded...."Why do you want me to?.. I don't want to!"  But the nudges turned into massively persistent pushes and darn right unabashed kicks in the arse to just keep revealing my deeper real self! 
  
My inner being often demanded that I speak more and more authentically on my Facebook Live show Courageous Conversations which initially I had started just as an instructional platform to help others.... but the views were only moderate until I got real... really real. So I knew I was onto something important that others related to. 

When I started telling others about me, my struggles, my vulnerable truths, my fears and my hopes, this is when people started to really connect to me and to life’s lessons. 

Personal stories create indelible sparks of awareness in other people’s souls. 

This is deeply in keeping with my life’s purpose: Using my knowledge and my expertise to awaken others to stop multi generational patterns of dysfunction in as wide a way as possible.  

Sharing my vulnerable, authentic self is like ringing a bell that resonates in other people’s hearts and is the game changing bridge to connection and understanding. Once you go down that route, you cannot un ring that bell. 
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Thus my journey to the Stage really amped up. 

I decided to contact Speaker Slam and whoah there was spot for me within a couple of months in the “Love Lessons” theme! I was kept up at night with the deep nudge that dared me to talk about something I had never ever shared publicly... my 8 year infertility journey and giving birth to a healthier version of myself in the process. I cried when I realized that I was not going to talk about something that was less painful. My inner being shot down every other topic I suggested to myself. "Nope... you gotta share the deepest stuff to created the deepest impact.”  

So I finally complied. 

And I am so grateful I did. AND ever since then my soul feels lighter and a bit more healed. Also I know that others have benefited deeply from me telling my story.  

My 3rd place win felt good. I'm not gonna lie.. I did want the top spot... but I promised myself I would rejoice and feel a deep pride in myself just for entering the competition and for my courage to deeply reveal my guts. 

I adore this Speaker Slam community..... It nurtures the part of my soul that no longer is content to just be safe and hidden.. Time to rise and fly and SPEAK!  ​

- Victoria Lorient-Faibish MEd, RP, CCC, BCPP, RPE
Registered Psychotherapist

Journey to The Stage...

This is a series chronicling the journey of our speakers from the moment they sign up to compete and what it takes to get there. What was their experience once they took the stage and afterwards? We find out!

Want more Speaker Slam? 
Subscribe to our Youtube Channel: www.youtube.com/SpeakerSlam

Author

Victoria Lorient-Faibish MEd, RP, CCC is a Registered Psychotherapist, relationship expert, life coach, author and keynote speaker. Over 20 years of practice she has developed her own brand of holistic psychotherapy, combining traditional and Eastern approaches to empower clients and strengthen their relationships. 

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv25ZQERsZNbcDZTAXTRaBQ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/VictoriaLorientFaibishMEdRP/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/victorialorientfaibish/

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    What is Speaker Slam?

    Our Inspirational Speaking Competition features 10 competitors going head to head and heart to heart, to deliver 4-6 minute speeches based on a monthly theme with a chance of winning cash and prizes valued up to $5000. Our winners have gone on to get paid speaking gigs, TEDx talks and online notoriety.

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  • Training
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